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In the introduction to the original pitch on the Random-ness Wiki, I, Yakko Warner notes how similar the pilot episode “Roadrunner-Catcher” was to the pitch reel. This transcript that shows the differences.

All voices in the pitch reel were performed by me. Yakko Warner.


Pitch Reel and Pilot comparison

Original

Pilot episode

Coyoteas: So Cerb, what do ya want to do today?

(Cerb shrugs)

Coyoteas: What about Larry? What does he want to do?

(Larry Chitters)

Coyoteas: Well, he is a platypus. They don't do much.

Coyoteas: Well, he's a platypus. They don't do much.

Coyoteas: I, for one, am starting to get bored. And boredom is something up with which I will not put! The first thing they're gonna ask us when we get back to the Looneversity is, "What did we do over summer?"

Coyoteas: We better have something great to tell them.

[line deleted]

Coyoteas: I mean, no school for three months. Our lives should be racing like a roadrunner running away from an ACME Roadrunner Catcher. And I mean a good roadrunner-catcher, not like that ACME made one we rode on in the desert with dad.

Coyoteas: You sure this’ll work Dad?

Wiley: It better! LET’S FIRE THIS BABY UP!

Cerb (sarcastically and quietly): It ain’t gonna woyk.

(Road Runner runs up to him)

Road: HA HA HA! You think THAT’LL catch me?

(zips away)

(Wiley powers up RRC)

(RRC fails after going a few feet)

(the Coyotes get blown up and they are charred up)

Coyoteas: Man, that was lame. Why, if I built a roadrunner-catcher, WAY better than Dad’s, I would... That's it! I know what we're gonna do today!

Trixie: Coyoteas, Cerb! I'm gonna go pick up a few things. You pups stay out of trouble, okay?

Coyoteas: Okay, mom. (to Cerb): We're going to build a roadrunner catcher!

(Trixie; we’ll call her “Mom”, is in the car and Coyodace is talking to her)

Coyodace: I'm in charge, right? You did tell them I'm in charge?

Mom: Relax, Coyodace. Nobody has to be in charge.

Coyodace: What if there's an emergency?

Mom: Like what?

Coyodace: Um, what if, I don't know...

Coyodace: Um, what if, uh...

Coyodace: What if an anvil falls on one of us?

Mom: If that happens, you're in charge.

(Coyodace walks back to the pups)

Coyodace: Yes! Mom says I'm in charge! Conditionally!

Coyoteas: Whatever.

Coyodace: Wait a minute. What are you doing?

Coyoteas: Homework. We’re trying to learn how to do wild outtakes like this;

(Cerb and him do wildouttakes: Their eyes bug to huge sizes, they drop their jaws on the ground, etc.)

Coyodace: Okaaaaay… BUT! It’s summer.

Coyoteas: Fine. You wait 'til the last minute then.

("Fine" is said in a defiant tone)

Coyoteas: That's cool. You wait 'til the last minute then.

("That's cool" is said in a casual manner)

Coyodace: Well, I'm watching you. And I'm in charge. Conditionally!

(Coyodace goes into the house. She looks out the window momentarily, then answers the phone when it rings.)

Coyodace: Hello? Oh, hi, Babs.

Coyodace: I can't go to the mall right now.

Coyodace: No, I can't get to the mall right now.

Coyodace: Mom just went to the store. She left me in charge.

Coyodace: You know, conditionally.

Coyodace: Well, you know, conditionally.

Coyodace: Hey, if you go, could you see if Catastrophe’s there?

Coyodace: Oh, if you go, can you see if Catastrophe’s there?

Coyodace: He's the cute coyote that works at Mr. Slusee Burger.

(pronounced as "slushy")

Coyodace: No, no, he's the cute, muscular coyote that works at Mr. Slushy Burger.

Coyodace: Yeah, he totally smiled at me last time I was there.

Coyodace: I just about died! No, I did. I really did. Like falling off of cliff dying.

Coyodace: I just about died!

Coyodace: Well, I mean, I didn't, but I just about did!

[line deleted]

Coyodace: No, I told you I can't.

Coyodace: I'm watching my brothers, 'cause they're always up to something.

Coyodace: I'm watching my brothers.

Coyodace: Yeah, and they never get into trouble, 'cause mom never catches them.

Coyodace: But one of these days, I'm going to see to it that she catches them red-pawed.

Coyodace: One of these days, I'm going to see to it that she catches them red-pawed.

(Things that Coyoteas and Cerb bring into the backyard while Coyodace is talking on the phone:)

Lumber

Jackhammer and I-beams

Plunger and lots of plumbing items

Wagonload of explosives

Plastic flamingo and caged lion

(Lion roars)

Coyodace: Would you hold it down out there? I'm on the phone!

Coyodace: Will you hold it down? I'm trying to use the phone!

Coyodace: Well, like I said, mom left me in charge so there'll be no shenanigans today.

Coyodace: Mom left me in charge so there'll be no shenanigans today.

Coyodace (repeating Babs’ question): What are they doing right now?

Coyodace: Their cartoon homework, I think. Man, they are such dorks.

[line deleted]

Coyodace: Why do you ask?

What do you mean you can see it from your house? See what?

(Coyodace walks outside)

Coyodace: Coyoteas, what is this?

Coyoteas: This? This is second-generation-coyote-genius! Do you like it?

Coyoteas: Do you like it?

Coyodace: Oh, I'm gonna go get mom, and when she sees what you're doing, you are going down. Down, down, down!

Coyoteas: Okay, but do you like it?

(Coyoteas smiles his signature smile for the first time)

[line deleted]

Coyodace: D-O-W-N, down!

(Coyodace storms off)

Coyoteas: Hey, we need a blowtorch and some more peanut butter.

Coyoteas: We're going to need a blowtorch and some more peanut butter. BUT DON’T EAT IT.

(Chrianssa walks up the driveway while Coyodace rides off on her bike)

Chrianssa: Hey, Coyodace. Is Coyoteas... home?

(Coyodace ignores her and continues riding away on her bike)

Coyodace: Down. Down, I say!

(Chrianssa walks up to Coyoteas)

Chrianssa: Hey, Cerb. Hey, Coyoteas.

Chrianssa: Hey, Coyoteas.

Coyoteas: Oh, hey, Chrianssa.

Chrianssa: Whatcha doin'?

Coyoteas: Building a roadrunner-catcher.

Chrianssa: In the backyard of the stables that you live at?

Coyoteas: Some of it.

Chrianssa: Wow. Isn't that kind of impossible? You’re a coyote and all so it might not work.

Coyoteas: Is there something I can do for you?

(said in a slightly annoyed tone of voice)

Coyoteas: Some might say that to my dad.

Chrianssa: Hey, Cerb.

(Cerb waves and smiles a toothy grin)

Chrianssa: Does your brother ever talk?

Coyoteas: Cerb? He’s in training to do cartoons like my dad and Mr. Runner do. Ya’ know. The only dialogue is “Meep Meep!” and signs being held up? But yeah. He does talk A LOT.

Chrianssa: I was going to the pool. You want to go swimming?

Coyoteas: I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

Coyoteas: Kind of in the middle of something here.

Chrianssa: Oh, right. Okay.

Coyoteas: Well, see you later then.

Chrianssa: I'll see you later then.

Chrianssa: Okay.

Coyoteas: Okay.

Coyoteas: Hey, Cerb. You got enough rivets up there?

Cerb: Why did she ask why I don’t talk so much? I’M A CHATTERBOX!

(Coyoteas grabs Cerb’s lips)

Coyoteas: Wait a sec. Something just occured to me.

Coyoteas: Where's Larry anyway?

Coyoteas: Hey, where's Larry?

(Larry goes around the side of the house and enters his lair)

Female computer voice: You have one new secret mission.

[line deleted]

Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent L.

Major Monogram: The evil Dr. Meddleshmirtz is up to his old tricks.

Major Monogram: The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks.

Major Monogram: For reasons unknown to us, he has bought up 80 percent of the country's tin foil.

Major Monogram: If this was anyone else, it would just be weird. But with Meddleshmirtz, you can never be too careful.

[line deleted]

Major Monogram: I want you to get over to his hideout right away and find out what he's doing and put a stop to it!

Major Monogram: I want you to get over to his hideout right away. Find out what he's doing and put a stop to it.

Major Monogram: You know, unless he's just watching TV or something. In which case, use your discretion.

[line deleted]

Major Monogram: As always, Agent L, it is imperative that your cover identity as a mindless, domestic pet that’s always nervous remains intact.

Major Monogram: If the family you live with ever suspects that you are working for the government, you will have to be relocated.

[line deleted]

Major Monogram: Now, get out there. We're all counting on you.

(Agent L flies out of his lair in his platypus vehicle. He covers his face as he passes Coyoteas and Cerb.)

Coyoteas: So, the way I see it,

Coyoteas: The way I see it,

Coyoteas (continuing): the solid-fuel rocket's kicking in the mall parking lot, and then we release the snakes during our corkscrew around the Interstate.

I'm gonna go get the birdseed to distract the birds with.

(cut to grocery store)

Coyodace: Mom, you gotta come home right now!

Mom: Did an anvil fall on someone’s head?

Coyodace: No, no, no. You gotta see what Coyoteas and Cerb are doing.

Mom: It seems like we've had this conversation before.

Coyodace: What do you mean?

Mom: I seem to recall you telling me the boys were hypnotyzing birds to jump in to their mouths.

Mom: And then when I came home, there was a stunning lack of birds.

Mom: And when I came home, there was a stunning lack of birds.

Coyodace: I still don't know how they ate them so fast.

Coyodace: I mean, the bird poop alone should've made you think something was up...

[line deleted]

Mom: And didn't you tell me last week that Coyoteas was mass-producing robots or something?

[Plot point removed. Explored in “I Coyobot”]

Coyodace: They were androids, and they were terrifying!

Mom: And yet, the house was clean.

Coyodace (pondering): Yeh, you’re right..

Mom: So what's the emergency this time?

Coyodace: They're building a roadrunner-catcher— that’s supposed to WORK!

Mom: How original. Most pups just build forts.

[Plot point removed. Explored in “Wolfeas and Werb”]

Coyodace: No, I mean a real roadrunner-catcher!

[line deleted]

Mom: Coyodace, seriously, isn't Coyoteas a little young--or canine to be working with stuff like your father uses?

(cut to car assembly plant)

Foreman: Aren't you a little canine to be an engineer?

Coyoteas: Yes. Yes, I am.

(Coyoteas shows off his paws)

Foreman: Oh... well, I must say, I'm very impressed. You have thumbs too.

Foreman: Well, I must say, I'm very impressed.

Foreman: The forms all seem to be in order, although I've never seen them filled out in Claw-marks and paw prints before. So, if there's anything I can get you, anything at all, just let me know.

Coyoteas: You think we could borrow one of those gadgets?

(cut to a scene of a mechanical arm from the assembly plant laying out roadrunner-catcher track)

Coyoteas: Now, this is the life.

Cerb: Yup.

(The catcher is now passing through Chrianssa's yard)

[scene deleted]

Chrianssa: Hey, Coyoteas!

Coyoteas: Oh, hi, Chrianssa.

Chrianssa: Whatcha doin'?

Coyoteas: Still building that catcher I was telling you about.

Chrianssa: Yeah, I can see. So it's going well, then?

Coyoteas: We think so.

Chrianssa: It's so manly. When it's gonna be done?

Coyoteas: Oh, you'll know. Everyone'll know. We'll put up fliers.

Chrianssa: Cool, I can't wait. See you then!

Coyoteas (to Cerb): We're gonna need fliers.

(Cerb is already printing the fliers on a Gutenberg press inside the roadrunner-catcher car. He shows a flier to Coyoteas.)

Coyoteas: Excellent!

(zoom-in on the Meddleshmirtz Evil, Inc. building)

(zoom-in on the Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc. building)

(Larry bursts in through a window)

(From here on down, Dr. Meddleshmirtz and Dr. Doofenshmirtz will just be referred to as "doctor".)

Doctor: Well, well, well. Larry the Platypus. What an unexpected surprise.

Doctor: Ah, Larry the Platypus. What an unexpected surprise.

Doctor: And by unexpected, I mean completely expected!

Doctor: You are obviously here to thwart my plan to reverse the rotation of the earth.

But, you are too late!

Wait a minute. Is it 11 o'clock yet?
Oh, wait. Hold on... One moment. Just a bit now...
Now. Now you are too late!
I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone stop me after 11 o'clock.

[lines deleted]

(Mechanical arms seize Agent L)

Doctor: That is right, Mr. Platypus OR brother of Perry.

[line deleted]

Doctor: I, Dr. Heinz Meddleshmirtz...

Doctor: I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz...

(line continues from above)

...have covered the entire eastern seaboard in tin foil, and when I put my giant magnet next to my ingenious Magentism Magnifier, I will pull the east in a westernly direction, thereby reversing rotation of the earth.

You may well ask yourself, "Why would he do this? What could he possibly have to gain?" Well, let me just answer that by saying I haven't really worked out all the bugs yet. I mean, the tin foil alone cost a lot.

Doctor: I don't have all the receipts right now, but it was a lot.

[line deleted]

(cut back to grocery store)

Coyodace: But, but, mom, I'm telling you, they're building it and it's huge!

Coyodace: It's twice the size of the stables. And somehow they got use of a crane.

I mean, how does a 10-dog-year-old coyote even rent a crane?

[lines deleted. Coyoteas is 13.]

Coyodace (reading the poster): "Coyoteas and Cerb present the coolest catcher THAT WORKS ever! Now open."

Mom! Come here. You've gotta see this!

Coyote pup #1: Hey, Coyoteas and Cerb got a roadrunner-catcher. Cool!

Coyote #2: Yeah, that's fresh.

Coyote #1: You think you get a discount if you bring the flier?

Coyote #2: Maybe. We better take it.

(the pups take the flier)

Coyodace: Here, look, look, look, look, see? See?

I told you I'm not crazy. I told you!

Mom: And you're not crazy because?

(Coyodace yowls)

Mom: I see your point, Coyodace. No crazy coyote would yowl at a post like that.

(Coyodace yowls)

[line deleted]

Mom: I'll be in the dairy section if you want to come bark at some cheese or anything.

(Cut to the house. Cerb is letting coyotes into a tent.)

(cut to Cerb testing the microphone and then hands off the presentation to Coyoteas)

Coyoteas: Ladies and gentlemen who can’t catch roadrunners, boys and girls who can’t catch roadruners, coyotes of all ages who can’t catch roadrunners!

Coyoteas: You are here this afternoon to witness the next generation of ACME products.

[line deleted]

Coyoteas: May I present to you a spectacle most of the morning in the making.

Coyoteas: Mark your calendars ladies and gentlemen coyotes, because you'll want to tell your grandpups about the day you rode...

[line deleted]

Coyoteas: ...the coolest...

Coyoteas: The coolest...

Coyoteas (continuing): catcher...

ever!

(slow pan up the roadrunner and the eagle hitting the track)

Coyoteas: So, who wants to go first?

(cut to the cars going up the track)

Coyoteas: To fasten your seatbelts, insert the metal tab into the buckle. To release, just pull back on the...

Coyoteas: Oops! Sorry about that. Well, you get the picture.

Coyoteas: Oops! Well, you get the picture.

Coyoteas: The emergency exits are located...

Well, I guess it's just this whole area up here, isn't it?

[lines deleted]

Coyoteas: Well, that's about it. Enjoy the ride— and the roadrunners you will catch.

Coyoteas: And please remain seated while the ride is in motion.

(Coyoteas repeats this in French.)

[lines deleted]

Coyoteas: Now this, this is a view.

[line deleted]

Coyoteas: You guys all signed the waivers, right?

(Catcher passes through the snakes. Coyotes bark and yowl in fright.)

Coyoteas: Relax, they're just rubber!

(Catcher dives through the ACME Mud factory and emerges a few seconds later.)

(Catcher rolls through a car wash to get clean, pauses for a moment for the attendant to polish the nose of the front catcher car, then resumes its breakneck speed.)

Coyoteas: Hey look, here comes the “YOW-OOOOOO!”

Coyoteas: Hey look, here comes the “YIP YIP YA-WOOO-AWOO-WOO!”

Coyotes reach out the sides and scoop of armfulls of roadrunners while passing through the desert.

(Catcher goes into and out of a forest. Birds are now on the front and back car with hypnotized looks on their faces.)

Coyoteas: THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE, eh?

(Coyoteas eats the birds)

Coyoteas: Mmm. They were good. No wonder they flew off.

[plot point removed]

(Robot appears on back car)

Coyoteas: And look, the X-37. I'm glad to see they're all doing well.

(pats stomach)

[plot point removed]

(cut back to Larry, where the doctor is muttering)

Doctor: I'm telling you, nothing but expenses! I mean, have you ever tried to ship two tons of tin foil?

Doctor: ...really make all my money back. I could buy a bunch of east-facing real estate and sell it again with a nice sunset view. I don't...

(Larry flings a metal screw at the doctor)

Doctor: Ha ha, you missed!

Doctor: Ha, you missed!

(screw strikes his foot)

Doctor: Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

(he and Larry then have a swordfight using wrenches)

Doctor: Ha! Now, you really are too late!

Doctor: Now, you really are too late!

Doctor: Now...

[word omitted, so "Quake" becomes the first word of the new sentence, below]

(Doctor continues) quake in your boots and watch helplessly while the unimaginable electromagnetic forces pull the eastern seaboard, thereby reversing the rotation of the...

(tin foil comes loose from the buildings)

Well, that didn't work.

Doctor: Oh, and now it appears that we have a two ton ball...

Doctor: And now we have a two ton ball...

(Doctor continues) ...of tin foil travelling 200 miles an hour directly at us!

Quickly! We must separate the magnifier from the magnet before it is too late!

Quickly! We must separate the magnet from the magnifier before it is too late!

(cut to grocery store)

Mom: I know I had my Club Card in here somewhere. I always have it with me, but my purse is such a disaster area. You know how it is.

(Coyodace looks out into the parking lot)

Coyodace: Their butts are mine now. Mom!

Coyodace: Oooh, oooh, ooh, oooh. Mom! Mom!

(cut to Agent L and the doctor)

Doctor: It's no use! They won't budge. We're doomed!

Doctor: It's no use! It's no use! We are doomed!

(helicopter removes the magnet)

Doctor: You did it! You saved us! I'm sorry I ever said anything bad...

Doctor: You did it! You saved us, Larry the Platypus!

(the doctor gets hit by the tin foil ball)

Doctor: I'll get you...

Doctor: Curse you, Larry the Platypus!

(helicopter removes the rollercoaster)

Coyodace: You just gotta see it! Look, look! See?!

Coyodace: Look! Look, look! See?!

Mom: Okay, I give up. What am I supposed to be looking at?

Coyodace: No, it's not possible!

Mom: I'm gonna go get the cart.

Coyodace: It was right here and it was huge!

(Coyodace sees the helicopter fly off into the distance)

Coyodace: Mom!

Mom: Time to go. I've got frozens.

Coyodace: Okay, so...

Coyodace: Okay, okay, so, so...

Coyodace (continuing): You think Coyoteas and Cerb are still under that stupid tree, right?

Mom: Well, yes, that would be my guess.

Coyodace: Fine! Then let's go home. Now!

Mom: My, you can be awfully helpful when you are having a psychotic break!

[deleted line]

(Coyoteas and Cerb see that they are flying over the city with huge bundles of tied up roadrunners in their furry arms)

Coyoteas: Hmm. Bonus!

[deleted line]

(Larry cuts the cable and lands in the rollercoaster car)

Coyoteas: Oh, there you are, Larry.

(Larry chitters)

Coyoteas: I wondered where you were. Oh, and nice hat, Chrianssa.

(Chrianssa removes the fedora and swoons.)

Coyoteas: Nice hat, Chrianssa.

(Chrianssa removes the fedora and "hmmm"s.)

(coaster is now travelling through the streets)

Coyoteas: Funny, I don't remember this in the blueprints.

(coaster goes up a ramp and is caught on the tail of a jet)

Coyoteas: And I'm sure this is new.

(The jet is flying away with the pups. Coyodace sees this and laughs gleefully.)

Mom: I really worry about you sometimes, Coyodace.

(coaster flies from Statue of Liberty to Mount Rushmore and the fast food stand)

Employee: Welcome to Mr. Slusee Burger. May I take your order?

Employee: Welcome to Mr. Slushy Burger. May I take your order?

Coyoteas: Anybody want fries with their roadrunners?

(They are flung over to Paris. The Eiffel Tower catches them and bends down to a street.)

(When the rollercoaster car is caught on the Eiffel Tower, the tower bends about half-way down and just starts to straighten back up, when the scene cuts to the croissant shop.)

French Roadrunner: Bip Bip!

Coyoteas: Anybody want croissants with these french bip bips? (he says it the same way as the roadrunner)

(they grab the french roadrunner)

(The Eiffel Tower straightens out and flings them into space. An anvil passes them.)

Coyoteas: You know if that crashes into earth, Coyodace is in charge.

Coyoteas: You know if that thing crashes to earth, Coyodace is in charge.

(Catcher falls back to earth)

Coyoteas: We should have charged more.

(cut to Mom and Coyodace arriving back home)

Mom: Okay, we're home. Are you happy?

Mom: Okay, we're here. Are you happy now, Coyodace?

(Coyodace looks in the backyard)

Coyodace: Yes! See, mom, I told you they weren't there.

(Mom looks in)

Mom: Oh, hi, Coyoteas. Hi, Cerb.

Mom: Oh, hi, pups.

Coyoteas: Hi, mom.

Mom: Come on, Coyodace. Help me with the groceries.

Coyodace (sputtering): But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but....

Mom (overlapping in the middle of Coyodace's sputtering): Let's go.

(coyotes start falling out of tree)

coyotes:

-Hey, Coyoteas, that was great!
-Way too cool!
-That was awesome!
-Can we do it again?

Coyoteas: Sorry. Only one ride per canine.

Chrianssa: That was great, Coyoteas.

Chrianssa: Will it be open tomorrow?

[deleted line]

Coyoteas: Nah, don't want to get in a rut.

[deleted line]

Chrianssa: So what are you going to do tomorrow?

Coyoteas: I don't know yet.

Coyoteas: Don't know yet.

Chrianssa: Maybe you can teach Larry some tricks.

Coyoteas: Well, he is a platypus. They don't do much.

Cerb: They're the only mammals dat lay eggs.

Coyoteas: Well, maybe he'll lay an egg.

Coyoteas: Maybe he'll lay an egg.

Chrianssa: Okay, cool. See you tomorrow, Coyoteas. Bye, Cerb.

Chrianssa: Cool. See you tomorrow. It really was the coolest coaster ever. You guys make a great team.

Coyoteas: Well, a brother is a brother, but I couldn't have asked for a better one than Cerb. You know what I mean?

(Cerb belches and a blue feather flies out of his mouth)

Cerb: MMMM-MMMM! Roadrunner!

Coyoteas: Oh, man! I could smell the peanut butter. YOU ATE IT! That explains the glitch.

Chrianssa: Well, that was impressive. See you guys.

Coyoteas: So what should we do tomorrow? There's a world of possibilities. Maybe we should make a list.

(tree explodes and car alarms go off)

Coyodace (off screen): Mom!

Mom (also off screen): Give it a rest, Coyodace.

(As the ball of tin foil goes rolling by in the background, fade out.)

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